“Owning Self Bearing” by Maria S. Wells

Maria S. Wells and her childrenAs a single Mom from the time my daughter was 18 months and my son 4 years old, there were many times that I would think I was talking to the wall, and that neither of them were paying attention to anything I said or did. In fact, it seemed as if their goal was to do the complete opposite. Having no family to rely on, and as they reached their teenage years, I constantly prayed for energy and wisdom to keep me aware of what they were doing and to remind me not to give up. I also prayed for protection to keep them safe, as I knew they needed more than just me to watch over them. In the back of my mind, I compared dealing with teenagers like talking to someone who was unconscious. We are told that a person in a coma can hear us even though they don’t respond. So I keep thinking if that is true, then maybe my teenagers might be listening, even though they were not responding!

As I write this, both of my children are now in their late 20′s , they have turned out to be great adults and we have incredible relationships. I now have validation that the inner wisdom to keep repeating values and life lessons really pays off. A few years back, my daughter was assigned a writing assignment in college entitled “My Best Mentor”. To my ultimate surprise, I was her best mentor for teaching her beyond the basics! She went onto say……”Mom taught me my values, importance of integrity and owning self bearing. She taught me how to listen when it is not easy, and how to deal with conflict. I learned from my mother to be loyal and fair and that character really counts.” To hear this was the greatest gift I could have received. Having walked through the fire of child rearing, I love to encourage other parents who are going through similar situations to stick with it, there will be light at the end of the tunnel, and to remember our children really do watch and listen to everything we say and do!

Maria S. Wells

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  1. Barbara D. Agerton, CPA

    Loved your daughters comment “owning self bearing.” That is something I personally want to teach my boys. Thank you for reminding me and for sharing.

    Barbara D. Agerton

  2. Deb

    Love your take on raising teenagers! You are right on!

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